Happy Birthday to my baby brother

He's all grown up now, and I don't see him much.  But I do remember how excited I was to have him enter the world...except for that short haircut my mom made me get after he was born to make her life easier.  I have all kinds of great memories of him.....and I have all kinds of great pride in him.  And I see him in my own son in many ways. So I wish my baby brother the best birthday ever and the absolute best year ahead!!

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time."

 ~Clara Ortega

A bee at work

“Bees do have a smell, you know, and if they don't they should, for their feet are dusted with spices from a million flowers.” 

~ Ray Bradbury

What a difference a year makes

I can scarcely believe how much Alex has grown in one year's time.  He is growing and developing into a more mature self (and I use that term VERY loosely) at too rapid a pace for me to keep up.  Suffice it to say there aren't many dull moments with him around.  It's gonna be a wild ride around here for the next few years.  Lord, give me strength, guidance, wisdom and any other gifts I need to get through this.

"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."

~  Dave Barry

Thank you

Thank you for your gift to the world....for sharing yourself, Maya Angelou.  You will be greatly missed and you truly left our world better than you found it!  You have been and will continue to be an inspiration to me.

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

~ Maya Angelou

Watch out world.....here she comes!!

There are many people that cross your path and you feel blessed for having them in your life.  You are better somehow for having known them.  They have added something to your life which was missing before.  I treasure the days that I have spent with this young woman.  She and her family have been an important part of our family.  Her future is as bright as her personality....and if she is around you.......her unique presence is unmistakeable!!  

She may not be too pleased with me for unearthing this gem....but I love it, and it brings back so many wonderful memories of her growing up.  I am honored that I got to be there for part of that wild ride.  She has just graduated from college....so hard to believe!!  She is off to begin her career this summer....and I am not exactly sure where it will take her....but I will be sitting here rooting for her, believing in her and waiting for her to come back and visit....and maybe even squeeze in a themed sleepover!!  Watch out world!! Here she comes!!

Love you Jenna....so extremely proud of you!!  Oh....and Happy Birthday tomorrow!!

“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”

~ William Shakespeare

Memorial Day

On this day I give thanks for all who have served their country so that I may be free.

“The secret of happiness is freedom, the secret of freedom is courage.” 

~ Carrie Jones

First s'mores of the season!

The first s'more night of the summer.....and our first attempt at lighting our fire without our expert fire-starter....Cara.  But....we did it.....eventually!  Can't wait for many more s'mores nights this summer with good friends!  Who's interested?

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?  ~Christy Whitehead

The best pup around....

"There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog."

~Konrad Lorenz

Chasing Rainbows

I am a dreamer. I believe in the power of love to create a better world.  I believe in being good and kind.  I love the wonders of the world...lighthouses, hot air balloons, sunsets, the ocean....and rainbows.  Today we chased a rainbow.  We followed it to where we could get out in the rain and take photos of a beautiful rainbow.   I am  not sure why, but rainbows have always been a source of hope for me.  When I am tired and feeling hopeless...rainbows have always signified the promise of better things to come.

In fact, tonight I was feeling exactly that way....exhausted and in need of some inspiration and motivation.  And there was that rainbow that we went chasing.....and it was so worth it....to stand there in the rain and behold it's beautiful magnificence.  I am thankful for that rainbow...and the time spent chasing it and enjoying it.  It made me think about all that is beautiful and colorful in my life.  I believe that it is bringing a pot of gold at it's end....and tomorrow will hold treasures that we had never imagined.

“Gratitude is the real treasure God wants us to find, because it isn't the pot of gold but the rainbow that colors our world.” 

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Talent

I usually post photos that I have taken myself, but tonight is one of those exceptions.  I lifted this one off of a website because I am still on a high from a performance we were lucky enough to witness tonight.

I am constantly amazed by the talent and committment to the arts displayed by the music and theatre departments at Arlington High School.  These programs are truly enriching to everyone involved.  Tonight we went to a Broadway Revue at Artlington High School produced by the students of the Admiral Players to benefit Broadway Cares....a group of Broadway professionals that raise money to help Aids victims.  We were blown away by some of the acts.....the talent, the commitment to excellence displayed by so many of the performers.

It was an uplifting and touching evening filled with talented young people who are constantly seeking new heights and the fact that they were putting on this show to the benefit of others was icing on the cake.  Bravo to tonight's performers...but also to a school and programs that nurture and inspire them to create and express and dream and reach for the stars.

“I believe arts education in music, theater, dance, and the visual arts is one of the most creative ways we have to find the gold that is buried just beneath the surface. They (children) have an enthusiasm for life a spark of creativity, and vivid imaginations that need training – training that prepares them to become confident young men and women.”

~ Richard W. Riley,

Childhood memories

Alyssa has been watching old videos and we watched the video of  this party tonight.  I am so thankful for the gift of photo and video.  It was so nice to take a look back in time and hear my children's younger voices...see them as younger versions of themselves.  It preserves so many details that the brain alone can not.

I am proud of who my kids have grown to be, and I remember how hectic and exhausting those days were....when I was the mom of little ones.  Yet, there is a part of me that yearns to go back in time and hold my babies in my arms one more time.

 “Don't you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?” 

~ Sarah Addison Allen

Cherished memory

Cherish every moment with those you love at every stage of your journey.” 

~ Jack Layton

Longing for the ocean

Ever since I was a child I’ve felt connected to water: lakes, rivers, streams––I love to jump in and swim around. But it’s the ocean where I go for rejuvenation, revelation, and solace.” 

~ Susan Rockefeller

The Journey

So proud of Alex as he got confirmed today.  Another rite of passage as he makes the slow and sometimes painful journey from youth to adulthood. As I have journeyed through life, faith has been my compass and I hope it will always be his.

“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.

You must travel it by yourself.

It is not far. It is within reach.

Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know. 

Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land.” 

~ Walt Whitman

Puppy Love

Sometimes some quality time spent playing with your pup can help make the world look brighter.

"I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that."

 ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth

A song

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. 

~ Maya Angelou

Saying Goodbye

Alyssa said a tearful goodbye to her friends at school today and to her sophomore year and her home-away-from-home of 2 years.  She also said a joyful hello to all of us at home.  I was happy that she was having so much trouble saying goodbye to her friends...because that means that they are an important part of her life and her heart.  But I am so very happy to have her home for awhile.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” 

~ A.A. Milne

Dark and Light

“It's not what you have on the outside that glitters in light, it's what you have on the inside that shines in the dark.” 

~ Anthony Liccione

The moon

“The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.” 

― Tahereh Mafi

Go out of your way....

I value other people. I believe that my relationships with others bring the meaning and fulfillment to life.   Whether family, friends, co-workers, neighbors....I believe in going out of my way for others.  I believe in making time that I may not have to give, to be there, to do what I can.  I have rarely been sorry when I go out of my way for others...when I have showed someone that they were important enough for me to go out of my way, to do what wasn't asked or expected....to give.... to love.

I hope and pray that whatever life has to offer.....whatever cards I am dealt....I will always have the strength of body and spirit to make time to go out of my way for those around me.  Imagine how we could begin to change the world if we just tried to go out of our way for others a little more often.  If we were as concerned about lightening someone else's load, brightening someone else's day as much as we were about taking care of ourselves...I believe we could make a difference in the quality  of our life and those around us.

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. 

~ Robert Brault

Mother's Day

Today I had a busy, yet wonderful Mother's Day.  Cara, Alex and I traveled to Oswego to watch Alyssa perform in her college dance recital. This morning before leaving Oswego, we had brunch together and then we said "Goodbye" to Alyssa for a few days until she's home for the summer.  We then traveled back home and then said "Goodbye" to Cara as she headed home to Yonkers, but she'll be back next weekend.  It's only a matter of time before I will be saying  goodbyes to Alex.  This realization has hit home recently.

It was wonderful to spend Mother's Day with my precious children, to receive  heartfelt cards and wishes and go out to brunch.  I am blessed....so very blessed.....that I have children who are grateful for what they have in this life...especially grateful for a mother that sometimes knows what she's doing...and sometimes does not.

But the secret is that, though I enjoy the sentiments and the attention once in awhile...it is me who should be thanking them.  They are the ones that make me a mother.  They are the ones that make me laugh, that make me proud.  They sometimes worry me, they sometimes frustrate me, they sometimes confuse me.  All in all they have their heads and hearts in the right place and I can't imagine living life without them.

I miss the times when they were all home.....although they weren't always peaceful times.  I blinked and then one by one they started growing up and leaving.  My friend Vicki told me long ago....before I even had kids....that parenting consisted  of a series of 'letting go(s)'.  She was right.  There were times when daily life was beyond hectic and times I wasn't sure if I would make it through.  Now I can see my empty nest coming at me a a much too rapid pace.

So, today I want to say thank you to Cara, Alyssa and Alex for being amazing human beings...and being the best kids a mom could ask for.  When I was a new mom, I used to say that if I could have put in my order...I could not have created my child more perfectly than Mother Nature and God.  Of course, that was before I had experienced the teenage years!!  But I still think that they are amazing and truly miracles!!  They make me laugh, they amaze me.  I am so proud to call them mine.  I know the day is coming soon when I am going to have to share them....and I am bracing myself for that....but for now, I am always the happiest when they are all around.

And I thank them for making me a mom and being the best kids ever....most of the time!!

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

~ Elizabeth Stone

Sibling Love

So proud of Alyssa as she continues to dance and choreograph!   We love watching her!!  I am so proud of my kids encouraging, supporting and being there for each other. 

"Never let whats out there in those streets come before your family, you can ALWAYS replace whats out there in those streets, you can NEVER replace your family"

~ Omar Hickman

Dance

So proud of the beautiful dancer Alyssa has become.  

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” 

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Enjoy today

“Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.” 

― Mandy Hale

Quiet

He is a weird kid sometimes....and he is a difficult kid most of the time.  But he is hilarious and has a soft heart and I must admit I miss him when he is not here.

“The world is quiet here.” 

~ Lemony Snicket

Blessing and Catastrophe

Today my staff, whom I adore with all my heart, brought me flowers, fruit and chocolate in honor of Teacher Appreciation Day.  I was surprised and very touched by their gesture.  I have known for awhile that I have the best staff ever....and this was just one more reason why.

It meant so much to me, because these are the people that see me at 8 a.m., when I may not be at my best.  We have laughed together, cried together, supported each other and most importantly worked together as a team.  Being appreciated by them was truly the highest honor.

I love getting flowers and I was excited to brighten my table with them.  No sooner did I put them in the vase and Poochie showed up right on schedule.  Poochie has done some damage in pursuit of flowers.  He killed a laptopand has ruined all kinds of other objects and vases by spilling the water....not to mention eating the beautiful flowers.  This time I caught him in the act and it became clear to me that I was going to have to move those flowers up high sooner than later to avoid catastrophe.

It also makes me wonder if the origin of that word - "catastrophe" might not have something to do with a feline.

Life is so often like that, isn't it? Unexpected joys and surprises....and lest you remain happy or complacent for too long.....catastrophe following closely on it's heels.  But for today, at least, I was left with the joy and I outsmarted catastrophe....and so,  I'd say it was a pretty good day.  I am realizing anew the depth of my blessings.  There was a time not so long ago....that I looked at certain changes in a most unwelcome fashion....but oh the joys those changes have brought.  I am thankful for today and all the wonderful things it brought me.  I will wake up with a light heart and see where tomorrow takes me.

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” 

~ Dr. Seuss

My Cool Dude

Still a cool dude after all these years, although this is about as close as he came to being a sports fan.  I can not believe how much he's grown....in oh so many ways.  Most days I truly like the guy he's become, but I will always cherish these memories!!

When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store directly in your tear ducts.

 ~Robert Brault

Blossom

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

~ Marcel Proust

Reflection

“And here's the surprising truth: As you gaze at yourself in the mirror held by another, you will see far more than your flaws. You also will see the beauty that is uniquely you; beauty that others see clearly and you may hardly know exists. That is also part of the truth about you.” 

~ Steve Goodier

I believe

"I believe in the sun even when it is not shining

I believe in love even when I feel it not

I believe in God even when he is silent."

~ written during the holocaust

A delicate balance

I see it again and again.  I often forget though, what a delicate balance there is to life.  We get up in the morning and go through the routine and run out the door to work, we make dinner, pay the bills like the little robots we sometimes become.  We plan for tomorrow just expecting that it will be like today.  We tell ourselves that everything is under control.  The path ahead is paved and smooth.  We don't always fully realize that even the strongest, sturdiest of entities can be blown to pieces in just the right wind.  We aren't always expecting a turn in the path that throws us off balance.  As we are going down...we aren't even sure what happened.

Sometimes we just get back up and dust ourselves off.  Sometimes we are just too broken.  We are thrown off balance and can't seem to find our footing no matter how hard we try.  We struggle.  It always seems like a struggle with no end in sight.

It's oh so cliche....there are no guarantees.  Tomorrow is not promised.  Life can change in a moment.  We say it, knowing the wisdom in those words.  We don't really know what to do with that knowledge.  We don't always know how to live differently.  After the fall, we don't always know how to get back up and how to keep our balance.

I don't have the answers...and I am not actually sure there are any.  I don't know what tomorrow brings, what lies around the next corner.  The reality is that if I could see the future...good or bad...I still have to get my robot self up in the morning and head out into the day.

So what I'll choose is to endeavor to value those little moments while I can.  I'll choose to laugh, and enjoy the laughter.  I'll greet people in big ways. I'll embrace more and hold tighter.  I will show my love and share my love as long as I am able.  I will be encouraging and enthusiastic.  I'll sing and dance when the spirit moves me.  I'll choose joy.  I'll choose to let go of nonsense.  I'll choose to look at the world around me.  .  I'll choose to sit and listen and be present and learn from people.  I'll try not to let the drudgery of today take over my spirit.

And if the day comes when it seems as if I can go no further....I will give myself time, I will be gentle with myself as I struggle and strive to once again regain my balance and breathe in the goodness of life.

“‎Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. Play with abondon. Laugh. Choose with no regrets. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is” 

~ Mary Anne Radmacher