When it all goes wrong....

Today is one of those days...when I am reminded that you go through times when just about everything seems to be going wrong.  Life just doesn't seem to want to cooperate with you.  But I am resolved to start tomorrow with renewed enthusiasm, belief.....and hope.

“It's not how we fall. It's how we get back up again.” 

~ Patrick Ness

Bedtime

"O bed! O bed! delicious bed!

That heaven upon earth to the weary head."

~ Thomas Hood

It's happening...

It's happening....almost overnight, it seems the colors have started to change.  The leaves are beginning to leave the safety of the branch, and float to the ground.  I to enjoy the colors and the smells and the food of autumn.  Yet, autumn, in all it's glory signals the coming of winter...and no matter how I prepare myself...I am never ready for that.

“Listen! The wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves,

We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!” 

~ Humbert Wolfe

We are the Music Makers

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."

             ~Arthur O'Shaugnessy

Recital

Alex sang and played piano tonight in his piano/voice recital.  So very proud!!  Now he needs to sleep to get ready for a full day of marching band tomorrow!!

“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” 

~ Albert Einstein

Fantasy and Reality

Back when this picture was taken...it was cute. It was fantasy to have my two babies riding in this little car in some theme park somewhere.  It was a dream a possibility....looking into a future that I couldn't really fathom actually arriving.   The reality is that today....this scene could actually happen.  Time goes by at a frighteningly fast speed.

“How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” 

― Dr. Seuss

She may be little...

I can't believe she is 20...but don't mistake her small frame and sweet smile for weakness.  She knows herself and she knows what she believes and she is not afraid to let you know it, if the situation warrants it.

“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”

~ William Shakespeare

20!

I just can't believe that Alyssa is 20!!  What an amazing young woman she is growing into!! She is motivated, hard-working, responsible, ethical, goofy beyond anything you could imagine, a fiery little stress ball, a bit short-tempered, artistic, musical, caring, spiritual,  practical, sensitive, grateful, thoughtful, creative, charismatic and with a heart of pure gold!  I am so proud at how hard she works, at how seriously she takes her responsibilities, but how much she enjoys it also...and the fact that when I am taking life too seriously, she is the one to come at me with everything she's got until I lighten up.  

I don't claim to always understand her....the tea thing....and especially the bubble tea....and the candle obsesssion....it all escapes me.  She says that what she loves about tea is that it can not be consumed on the run...it makes you slow down and take a moment to breathe and relax.  As I think about it....I think candles also are relaxing and soothing....and maybe these things are necessary for her to center herself when her stress starts taking on a life of it's own.

She isn't exactly sure where she wants to head in life...but I know that given her way with people and her determined attitude...she will eventually get exactly where she needs to be.  I think back to her as a child...she was the one that could make us just stop in our tracks and laugh until we cried...without even meaning to.  She had this free spirit and wonderful sense of humor.  I see that in her still, but it is tempered by the stresses, responsibilities and weight of adult life.  I hope she always holds onto that zest for life...that ability to stop people in their tracks and put a smile on their face....because just as she needs tea to make her stop and pause....so too, do we need Alyssa...to stop and make us remember that there is joy in life!!

Happy Birthday to my baby girl!!

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” 

~ A.A. Milne

Sweetpea

I can't believe that this little sweetpea will be 20 tomorrow!! She may be 20 but she's still my sweetpea and my baby girl!

“I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always, 

As long as I'm living, 

my baby you'll be.” 

~ Robert N. Munsch

Success

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” 

~ Leonardo da Vinci

My weekend

“Happiness is a state of activity.” 

~ Aristotle

Family Fun

Ahhhh memories!!

“Happiness is part of who we are. Joy is the feeling” 

~ Tony DeLiso

Life

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” 

~ Louise Erdrich

My boy

Are you getting tired of the marching band photo's yet? Well, trust me there will be more to come.   He has been talking my ear off tonight....and I love it!

“I'm so proud of you that it makes me proud of me. I hope you know that.” 

~ John Green

Simpler Times

“The world was beautiful when looked at in this way—without any seeking, so simple, so childlike.” 

~ Hermann Hesse

True Courage

“It is the hardest thing of all, the one thing that will show if you have the one true courage. To know that you have failed, that your best efforts have been defeated, to not be able to stand it, to not be able to go on and yet to go on nonetheless.” 

~ Silvia Hartmann

The power of music

“Where words leave off, music begins.” 

~ Heinrich Heine

The gift of marching band...

I apologize, in advance, for the amount of marching band photos I will be posting in the next several weeks.  I just love marching band and am so proud of my marcher!!  Tonight was Alex's first marching band competition.  Unfortunately, due to rain, they weren't able to actually march, but only play.  

As with my girls, I am so in awe at the gifts that Marching Band has given.  There is music, of course, but there is so much more....  Marching band builds character, respect, responsibility.....the list is enless.  I am so thankful for this experience for all of my kids.  I wait to see more gifts unwrapped for Alex.

“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.” 

 Arthur O'Shaughnessy

Thinking back....

On the eve of Alex's first marching band competition, I think back to Cara's first season in marching band.  I have to admit, I have changed focus a bit through the years...at first, concentrating on the band, and then spending a year trying to watch band and guard simultaneously, and then focusing on the guard.  Now I am back to focusing on the band.  Let me tell you, the thrill is still there.  Some things just never get old and each season brings new excitement.

I look forward to sharing Alex's experiences in marching band and watching him grow.

"Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!" 

~ J. K. Rowling

No time for hate

This photo was taken just a couple of weeks before the attacks of 9/11.  I never imagined then, that the towers wouldn't be part of the landscape forever.  What we lost can never be returned to us...lives lost, freedoms taken for granted...but I do hope it has taught us the pain and suffering that is part of war.  I hope it has inspired us to be as humane, peaceful and loving as is humanly possible.

I posted this photo this morning with a quote and I will add one more here....thoughts to live by.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 

― Martin Luther King Jr

“If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate.”

- Sandy Dahl, wife of Flight 93 pilot Jason Dahl

Sleep

Everyone here is tired and ready to call it a day....well, almost everyone.  Not the teenager, of course, who is  not unlike himself as an infant, with his days and nights mixed up.  I was yawning as I walked in the door.  All I could think of was a nap...but I pushed myself to try to get something accomplished.  It hasn't worked.  I have been unsuccessful.  I have spent a lot of time spinning in circles and now I am crying 'uncle' and calling it a day.

The cats are sleeping on the beds of their prospective humans, hoping that this might, somehow, invite their return.  Allie, tired from a day of guarding us from all the evils of the world, is sprawled out in the front hall.  But she is still on alert, because I am not able to move to take her photo without her looking up to make sure I am not in harm's way.

I am annoyed that I was not more productive tonight.  There simply isn't enough of me to accomplish all that needs to be accomplished each day.  But for now....I will put it all aside and rest and hopefully I will wake up tomorrow with an endless supply of energy that will cause people to mistake me for the Energizer bunny....although the likelihood of that is, at best, slim.  Peace out....

"Now, blessings light on him that first invented sleep! It covers a man all over, thoughts and all, like a cloak; it is meat for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, heat for the cold, and cold for the hot. It is the current coin that purchases all the pleasures of the world cheap, and the balance that sets the king and the shepherd, the fool and the wise man, even." 

~Miguel de Cervantes

Thrilling

Call me an overexcited parent, call me a dork...I really don't care....  I can not explain to you....there are just no words to describe how everything about sitting at this practice tonight....thrills me!

“Happiness... it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Missing these days....

Tonight is one of those nights when I am totally spent...and when it comes to a photo or one word of wisdom to put up...'I got nothing'.  And then I see my son...so tall now, a high school freshman, come in the room...and I think of how fast life is moving...and wonder when he became so grown up....and I am transported back in time...to this little guy...  I do so miss these days....

“Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well.” 

~ George R.R. Martin

Gryffindor

Cara has been traveling back and forth a little between Yonkers and home these past couple of weeks.  She has had some things that she needed to do around here....car repair, Dr. appt etc.  While she was home she decided to make a Gryffindor scarf for her brother.  She's been pretty proud of her brother following in his sister's marching band footsteps....and these colors are pretty close to our school colors.

Before she headed for Yonkers today....this time for awhile....she wanted to take a picture of her brother in his new scarf.  Alex, of course, spent time looking around for as many props as he could find.  In the end she was trying to leave and the wand could not be found......but the glasses were located.  Cara is still a bit bitter over the fact, that at age 23, she has not received her invitation to attend Hogwarts.  But they are both wizards in my book!!

“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” 

~ J.K. Rowling

Rainy Day

“The only noise now was the rain, pattering softly with the magnificent indifference of nature for the tangled passions of humans.” 

~ Sherwood Smith

Back to School 2005

While each 'Back to School' morning is somewhat traumatic in it's own way, this was by far my worst and most traumatic.  All my babies were beginning something new.  Cara was beginning High School, Alyssa was beginning Middle School and Alex was beginning Kindergarten.  It was anxiety x 3.  But.....we somehow, all made it through.

“And the day inevitably comes when the scrapbook of summer, smeared with ice cream slurps and sweat stains, gives way to that new clean white notebook, spine unbroken, begging to be smudged with the enthusiasm of a number two pencil and a mind open to the possibilities.” 

~ Toni Sorenson

High School

So hard to believe that my baby boy started high school today.  But it's just a start and he is already singing the "I hate school" chant after one day.  But I know he can accomplish great things!! The task at hand will be to focus and give it his all!!

“If I am ever told that I have one day to live, I will head straight for the hallowed halls of Winter Park High School, where a day has been known to last a thousand years.” 

~ John Green

My baby

Not so long ago....just yesterday, or was it last week....certainly it couldn't have been a whole month ago... Well, just the other day I worried and fretted about my baby going off to kindergarten.  Tomorrow he starts the 9th grade.  I don't understand how this happened.

But I hope through all the teenage struggles he understands how very proud I am that he is who he is.... and that he is and always will be.... my baby

“A first child is your own best foot forward, and how you do cheer those little feet as they strike out. You examine every turn of flesh for precocity, and crow it to the world. But the last one: the baby who trails his scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after--oh, that' s love by a different name.” 

~ Barbara Kingsolver

Remained the same....

Though there has been quite a transformation between this little guy and the young man who now answers to the same name, sadly.....some things have remained constant.  But I remain hopeful....

“I never could bear the idea of anyone's expecting something from me. It always made me want to do just the opposite.” 

― Jean-Paul Sartre

Beginning

I guess, it is fitting that as I was running to the grocery store tonight, mourning the loss of summer....I should see a hot air balloon.  It took my breath away, as seeing a hot air balloon always does.  It made me pause and think back to July...a time when I am always excited to begin summer.   It is a time I look forward to all year....anxious to see the hot air balloons take off.  And it made me realize that, a new season is upon me ...about to begin....and it will be what I make it .   I choose to make it great.

So, as a dear friend of mine is known to say....and I will paraphrase here, because I am not sure if I have it exactly right.  'Life is what you make it.  You can choose to make it chicken s**t or chicken salad.  I choose chicken salad.'

“And suddenly you know: It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” 

~ Meister Eckhart