My children

I am thankful that I have all my children here to help me endure this terrible storm and power outage. They are the light in my life. So blessed!! 

Give the children love, more love and still more love – and the common sense will come by itself. 

- Astrid Lindgren

Forgiveness

“True forgiveness is when you can say, "Thank you for that experience.” 

~ Oprah Winfrey

Health

“Eat healthily, sleep well, breathe deeply, move harmoniously.” 

~ Jean-Pierre Barral

Blessings

A full and busy weekend surrounded by all three of my kids as we supported Alyssa, by traveling to Oswego to see her perform a dance she choreographed.  It was full of some beautiful moments...and some that were less than stellar.  I was feeling quite under the weather, we had some car concerns as we traveled part way home, out of Oswego last night...in rain, and Cara, who is trying to pick a health plan is very stressed about how much she needs to pay out of pocket....money that she does not have in her pocket, and I learned some disturbing news from 'home'.

But we made the most of it, enjoyed Alyssa's beautiful dance and dancing, spent some happy time together and began to anticipate the holidays.  We made it home, thankfully, and the car is still running, though a trip to my mechanic is in order sooner than later.  By grace, we were brought home safely.  Because I was not feeling better, I spent hours waiting to be seen at an urgent care facility, and while waiting, noticed a poster discussing help with health care costs....a glimmer of hope for Cara.....maybe. I now know that the little cold I thought I had....might be a little something more...but now, with the correct medication, will soon be on the mend.  The disturbing news, I have decided, is a way for me to reach out to someone.

And so...even though there were circumstances that I may have considered to be curses...perhaps they were blessings in disguise....and the best blessing of all....as always.... is these three...whom I love with every fiber of my being and whom I am proud of individually...but also as a family who continue to make being there for one another a priority.

“When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.” 

~ C.S. Lewis

Journey

   “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters in the end.” 

               ~  Ernest Hemingway

Warmth

“It is very important that we have the capacity to love many different things or people at the same time. Our love should radiate like the sun, warming everything it touches.” 

~  Peggy Toney Horton

Being exactly who I am

Every once in awhile amidst all the self doubts, you are given a gift.....a kind word, a helping hand....something that lifts you up and lets you know that as imperfect as you are...you are on the right track.  Today was such a day for me.

I, like many of you, tend to beat myself up about the things that are not perfect about myself and my life.  Yet I tell myself, I am living life the best way I know how....what am I doing wrong, then?  Why do I often struggle financially? Why do I often doubt what I am doing and how I am doing it? What defines me?  What does success look like for me? The list goes on and on and on....

Yet today, I feel like I've been given some kind of message, another hand on my own telling me that I am on the right track.  Affirming that right now I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. So for today, I will cast aside the questions and doubts and I will trust and follow my heart and enjoy being exactly who I am.  I will be thankful for this life...for all the people that surround me.  I will be thankful for all the blessings I've been given.

Tomorrow, I am sure those doubts will creep back in.  Tomorrow I will go about the business of life and continue my evolution...but for today I will cast them aside and just be thankful for today.

“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” 

~ Masaru Emoto

Life's small celebrations

Tonight we attended the Arlington Marching Band Awards night.  Alex is no longer a rookie!  I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished.  Celebrations such as these are sometimes lost on Alex....he's a guy and sometimes the moments that I deem to be truly important pass him by unnoticed.  Or maybe because I'm his Mom and I remember all we have gone through to get to this point.  It is a celebration.  He took on a task and he worked hard.  He was committed to it, took ownership of it, developed a responsibility for it.  I celebrate a wonderful season and all of the growth I have seen develop in Alex.

“there is nothing more beautiful in life 

than celebrating the talents, dreams, 

joys, and accomplishments of another being 

to see - and call attention to - the best in someone else...” 

~ Kate Mullane Robertson

Acceptance and Tolerance

“If I do not believe as you believe, it proves that you do not believe as I believe, and that is all that it proves.” 

~  Thomas Paine

People who have blessed my days

Catskill, New York circa 1975?  These were my first real friends...the first people who loved me and laughed with me and believed in me.  Though I don't see some of them very often...I can not imagine who I would be without them in my life.

"If you let people into your life a little bit, they can be pretty damn amazing. "

~ Sherman Alexie

Heroes

And here are two of my heroes...who very often save the day and help keep me putting one step in front of the other....

“Anyway, if you need your heroes to be perfect, you won't have very many. Even Superman had his Kryptonite. I'd rather have my heroes be more like me: trying to do the right thing, sometimes messing up. Making mistakes. Saying you're sorry. And forgiving other people when they mess up, too.” 

~ Madeleine George

Giving

“But I give best when I give from that deeper place; when I give simply, freely and generously, and sometimes for no particular reason. I give best when I give from my heart.” 

~ Steve Goodier

Kind

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” 

~ Desmond Tutu

Music

Whether you are listening to music or making music...solo or with others...music has a magic to take you somewhere else...to another time, another place, another dimension...maybe just for a second....to make you feel something that you didn't know was possible...to remind yourself that your heart still beats...and there is still a reason for living.

“Music can change the world because it can change people.” 

~  Bono

Belief

Perhaps it will be my downfall......but so be it.  I believe in the good in life...in people.... and always, always the power of love.

“Some things have to be believed to be seen.” 

~ Madeleine L'Engle

Sacrifice

Today I lift up these men whom I loved, who have spent time serving their country.  I think of so many others who have sacrificed to protect this country and our freedoms....not just those in the military...but everyday people engaging in many different heroic acts....sacrificing themselves for others without a thought.

But, today is Veteran's Day and so I especially think of these men in my life and all the members of the military who have served, or are serving  and sacrificing so very much so that we can go about our every day life without a second thought as to the freedoms we enjoy in this country.  I can't imagine the conditions that they must endure, the life that they must sometimes live, the loved ones they must often leave behind.  Thank you just doesn't seem to be enough to thank all of these people who have sacrificed so much.....for our country, for me.  We owe the life that we live today to these brave individuals.  Though it doesn't seem enough for such a gift......Thank you!  You have not sacrificed in vain.

“Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else.” 

~ Mitch Albom

Obstacles

“The best way to treat obstacles is to use them as stepping-stones. Laugh at them, tread on them, and let them lead you to something better.” 

~ Enid Blyton

Going out of your way for others

I have been trying to keep my photo/blog in sync with my statuses this month.  But what picture could I possibly post that would portray people going out of their way for others?  There are certainly many people who have gone out of their way for me. I briefly considered making some sort of collage...but knew I would leave someone out...or didn't necessarily possess a picture of each one.....and there have been so many...too many to count!!  I am blessed!!

I like to give to people....I find it to be essential and of the highest value.  Accepting the help someone gives me when they go out of their way for me....is not always so easy.  But, there are times when, given my situation, I am forced to ask for and accept help.  I am so thankful for the angels that always say yes.....that always make a way to be there...to go out of their way to help me.  Their help and their love is a true blessing!!  We often get so busy with our own lives that we don't take the time for others...we get locked into our schedule and list of to-do's and don't go out of our way to be there for people.  I know it is something that I try to make a priority.

I finally decided on this picture.  It is my brother Doug.....being himself...... with Alyssa after he had traveled from the Schenectady area, picking up my mom on the way,  to see Alyssa in one of her high school productions.  It makes for a long day...but his support has always meant the world to her.  Of course we would understand if he couldn't make it....but he does....he goes out of his way....and it means everything!

“You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” 

~ Khalil Gibran

Joy

“Laughter is wine for the soul - laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness - the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.” 

~ Seán O'Casey

Courage

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.” 

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

The outstretched hand...

Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey.

At other times, it is allowing another to take yours.” 

~ Vera Nazarian

Listening

It is a rare gift.  We all possess the ability...but we need to realize how important it is....and take the time to simply listen!

“This is the problem with dealing with someone who is actually a good listener. They don’t jump in on your sentences, saving you from actually finishing them, or talk over you, allowing what you do manage to get out to be lost or altered in transit. Instead, they wait, so you have to keep going.” 

~ Sarah Dessen

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” 

~ Stephen R. Covey

Sleep

For a variety of reasons.....there is no more left of me tonight.  So I will  get to bed early, rest and recharge.....and still curse the alarm clock in the morning.

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” 

~ Mindy Kaling

A helping hand

As you may know the taskof leaf removable is very stressful to me.  I just don't possess the talent or tools to take care of the vast population of leaves that jump to their death in my yard.  We were fortunate enough to borrow some leaf blowers and Alex and I spent a good deal of time outside on Friday trying to gently coax the leaves to the wooded areas that border our yard.  We went inside weary, but feeling like we had made a dent.  Enter the Nor'easter of this past weekend.  I looked outside on Sunday to see that it almost didn't look as if we had done anything.  It was very disheartening to me.

I arrived home from work today to find that Alex had been outside almost since he had arrived home trying to put those darn leaves back in their place,  That little bit of help from him made all the difference in how I was feeling about the task of removing the leaves.  I joined in and by the time we went inside, we both felt like we had really accomplished something and the rest of the task is able to be done.  

Sometimes, all you need is someone to give you a little help....to be in it with you....and the workload suddenly seems lighter.....and for that help to come unexpected from a teenager who usually needs to be begged and cajoled....well let's just say that doubled the blessing!!

“I wished for someone to hold me up. Suddenly someone was there.” 

~ Christie Watson

Light

This has been a quiet and restful weekend....which I welcomed after the crazy amount of activity of the last month.  Yet, this weekend is always my most dreaded each year.  This is the weekend that I officially bid a fond farewell to the light.  I know the days have been getting shorter and the darkness sneaks up on me a little earlier....but on the night that we turn the clocks back....it's official....winter is just about here.

It didn't help that this particular weekend, as if to emphasize the point, a nor'easter came to visit....and as it left, it took my power with it.  I got to thinking about that sequence of events.  That is exactly what the light does for me...it gives me power, hope, the will to get through today and tomorrow, no matter what they have in store.  But when the darkness encroaches....with my light, goes my power.... the darkness makes me tired and weak and robs me of my will to some degree.

I am sure no one reaches my age, but they haven't had to deal with some measure of darkness in their life.  It's painful to remember those dark hours...when not a glimmer of light could be seen....when you just didn't know how you would make it through that tunnel...tired and scared and weak.  And yet....I somehow had soaked up enough light to see my way through that darkness...the light came from somewhere deep within...and I emerged on the other side with my light not diminished...but more brilliant from the experience.
So I bid the light a fond farewell and I will be joyfully waiting it's return....but in the meantime...I will try to shine as brightly as I know how... to light the path of those who are stumbling in those dark places.

“It's not what you have on the outside that glitters in light, it's what you have on the inside that shines in the dark.” 

~ Anthony Liccione

My saints

Today, November 1st, is All Saints Day.  I did a little research and found information about who celebrates it and how it is celebrated. It is a day to remember the saints....those known and unknown...and those who have passed on.

I like the fact that there is a day to remember some of the people who have left my life.....this life.  It's necessary to me to have a day ....that I can circle on the calendar and pause in the busyness of life to intentionally remember the lives of those who I loved...who I continue to love.

I look at their faces and I think of who they were, of how they lived their lives...of their personalities, their stories....their struggles and successes.  It's important to me that there be a day to remind me to spend a moment giving thanks for their lives.  But the truth is....they are never truly gone from me for long.  I pause, maybe only momentarily to remember them in a thousand things...in a song or a story or a joke.  I often think of them at a specific time of year or when I come across a tangible reminder that I have saved.  Sometimes I remember them as I look at a family member who brings them to mind.  I think of them when a look, a smile, a laugh, or gesture brings them to mind.  Or perhaps...it is when I am alone that the thought of them just floods over me.....unbeckoned....and I feel an overwhelming sense of their presence......and I wonder....

I often question if, during the course of their lives, they ever wondered if they would be remembered.  I believe that if you love and share that love....you will always be remembered and always live in the hearts of those who hold you dear.  And so today....I remember the saints in my life.  I give thanks for them and all the days we had together, all the meals and laughs shared....and I give thanks that I was fortunate enough to be chosen to share some of their very precious time on earth. So on this day.......and so many others, I give thanks for my saints.

“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” 

~ Thomas Campbell