More than one night....

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong'.

Then a voice says to me, " This is going to take more than one night."

~Charles M. Schultz

Trust

"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time."

~Maya Angelou

Amazing day

"i thank you God for most this amazing

 day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes"

~e.e. cummings

A beautiful day

I am so lucky to have these trees lining my driveway. It is one of my favorite times of year, when they are in bloom and welcome me home!  Welcome Spring!! How I have longed for you.  How I have longed to open the doors and windows and let you in.  A day like today clears your mind and cleanses your soul.  What a gift it was!! I am so thankful for this day!!

" I will be the gladdest thing under the sun!  I will touch a hundred flowers and not pick one."

~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

One of life's tricky moments....

"Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."

~ Nicholas Sparks

Be yourself!

It seems to me that we are always trying to fit in, always afraid of being judged.....afraid to be who we are...that being who we are is somehow not good enough.  So we put on facades and play games to avoid showing who we really are...for fear that we won't be accepted....that we won't be loved.

But who we are is really our greatest treasure in this world.  Maybe not everyone will embrace us...maybe not everyone will understand...but that is ok.  We will find those that 'get ' us and hold them close...and all the others out there that don't...well they won't really matter...and won't even realize what they are missing.

So resolve to be yourself...your own special combination of strengths and weaknesses, triumphs and failures, laughs and sorrows, joys and sadnesses...and be the best version of yourself that you can be.  Shine your own special light in the world...and those who are true and important in your life will bask in the glow.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sweet puppy

"All his live he tried to be a good person.  Many times, however, he failed.  For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog."

~Charles M. Schulz

Alone

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude.  It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."

~ Jodie Picoult

A moment of quiet

"The quieter you become, the more you can hear."

~ Baba Ram Dass

"Can you look without the voice in your head commenting, drawing conclusions, comparing, or trying to figure something out?"

~ Eckhart Tolle

Marissa

I have known her since she was 6 years old.  She has come over to my house for sleepovers. We have scrapbooked together, baked together, talked about just about everything.  Now she is getting married.  I watched her today at her bridal shower, wondering where all the time has gone.  It is so hard to believe that she will become a married woman in just about a month.  I wish her every happiness in life.  I wish a beautiful life to a beautiful friend.....inside and out.

"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendship to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life."

Beginning anew

When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be an adult, when I would have all the answers.  Ha Ha...little did I know, that not only do you not ever have the answers, but the questions get more complex.  Just when you think you have it all figured out, you realize that you really don't have any of it figured out...back to the drawing board.  All we can do is try our best...and when things aren't going well....go back to the drawing board and start all over, until we get it right.

This week has been a crazy, stressful week filled with a mix of so many things going on in life. Some events have been challenging,  Some have been touching.  Some have caused me to question.  Some have been upsetting.  Some have been serene and joyful,while others have been self-affirming.  I guess the important thing is to be able to look at yourself... where you are, where you are headed and use your compass to find your bearings and redirect yourself to head in the direction that seems to be the right one.

It is Saturday... a new week starts tomorrow, and I will begin anew with it.....with a new spirit.  I will keep what is good and begin the process of changing what needs changing.  If you have ever laid down and looked at the clouds, you see that they are everchanging...always moving and becoming something new.  I hope to learn that skill....to move and evolve and change today into an improved tomorrow.

"Never look back, unless you are planning to go that way"

~ Henry David Thoreau

The best medicine

After a long and exhausting week, nothing warmed my heart more than my visit with Aunt Margaret. I usually see her every Friday, but she was visiting my cousins for a bit.  She greeted me with the warmest smile and hug and said " I haven't seen you in 3 weeks!!"  I love her....and her company was the best medicine for me tonight!

"So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of loyalty."

~ Haniel Long

Growth

"When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate.  And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow."

~ Shauna Niequist

A safe place

You may remember my desperate blog about our cat Lady,  She was exhibiting some behavioral issues...which we believed stemmed from the fact that she was being bullied by one of our other cats.  But what to do?  After talking to my friend the vet tech....I decided to try moving Lady to the basement. I put her litter box down there, and her food.  We bring her up every day and lock away the other cat while she is upstairs.  I can't believe the remarkable difference in this cat's personality.  She used to be jumpy, difficult to hold and pet.  She has now become affectionate and relatively calm.  The look on her face has softened.  She needed her own space...free of being harassed by another who was making her life difficult.  She has her own safe place now.

Tonight, I sort of want to move down in the basement with her.  Every once in a while...as positive as you try to be, as much as you try to choose love and acceptance....you just feel done.  Tonight is just one of those nights for me.....when I am just done with people...their attitudes, their behaviors, their conversations, their games...  I know I will wake up in a day... or two...and feel inspired, renewed, energized...but for right now...I am just done.  I want to creep into my own private retreat...my own safe place... and be annoyed and be angry and be aggravated...and get it all out of my system.....and I beat myself up about that.  But I guess it's part of the human condition...to accept the downs of life as well as the ups....to realize that they will come....and you must greet them and listen to them before sending them on their way.

"There are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet.  And when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them. it shakes your faith, right where you stand."

~Sarah Dessen

Rough Waters

Sometimes at the end of the day, I look back and I am not happy with myself...maybe it was something I said, or did...or the way I acted.  Maybe it wasn't abominable...but I should have done better.  Today was one of those days.  Tonight is one of those nights that I resolve to be better.  I resolve to do it better next time.

It is rarely easy.  Difficult situations, difficult people are put in our path and we have to navigate our way through rough waters.  Sometimes, we do it right, sometimes.... not so much.  Unfortunately, we are never going to be perfect.  Life is always going to present us with obstacles that we need to get around.  We are never going to know how to handle every situation.  We don't like every person we have to deal with, and sometimes don't have the patience to tolerate the personalities that we encounter.

It's really important to me to navigate these situations, while being true to myself.  It is really important to me to be authentic....even if that means being misunderstood.  It's important to me to handle each situation honestly.  But still....there are days...when I look back and know I could have handled things better.

Today, however, is over...and it is time to rest...and then get up and try again tomorrow.  There will be days when the waters are calm, when life flows along like a song.....and days when there are rough waters....and no matter what decision we make, it seems to be the wrong one.  I will try to learn from those mistakes...and make tomorrow better.  I may or may not succeed...but I will keep trying to sail through the rough waters to the place where it is calm once again.

"A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that."

~ Douglas Adams

Away from the shadows

Sometimes the world seems like a scary, evil place.  Sometimes we don't understand life.... or people.  But I think it's important to put it in perspective...it is one piece of life.  There is still beauty, there is still laughter, there is still kindness, there are still little miracles of life.  If we concentrate on the bad...the horrific...then we allow it to win.  We allow it to rule out world.  I would rather let love win, let beauty win, let wonder win. let love win.  I would rather wake up each morning and strive to make my corner of the world a little better.  I would rather go to bed at night thinking not of what went wrong...but of what went right...and what I can do tomorrow to be a better person and make this world a better place.  I would rather turn my head to the sunshine and away from the shadows.

"The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.  But still there is much that is fair.    and though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater."

~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Friends

Alyssa is back in Oswego after a whirlwind weekend.  The main reason for her coming home was to support her friends by being there to watch their performance in West Side Story.  She had a wonderful reunion with her Admiral Player pals...present and past!!

"It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it."

~ Zora Neale Hurston

Survivor

We helped our friend Corinne at her breast cancer fundraiser tonight.  She is pictured here with her husband recounting her fight with stage 3 breast cancer.  We are honored to be her friend and to be associated with the village of people it takes to put on a night like tonight. We got to see some old friends that we don't see much of.  It was a great night for a great cause.  Corinne is an inspiration.  She shares her experiences with others to inspire them to win their own battles with cancer and to donate to research so that someday there will be no more cancer in peoples lives.  She says we can all be heroes by helping to rid the world of cancer.  I am inspired to do what I can to eradicate this awful disease.

"Giving of any kind... taking any action... begins the process of change, and moves us to remember that we are a part of a much greater universe."

~ Mbali Creazzo

Bravo!!

Bravo to Arlington's Admiral Players and their performance of West Side Story!! It was amazing!!! Here is one of our favorite actors, Bradley Levine, signing autographs!!

"Act well your part; there all the honour lies."

~ Alexander Pope

West Side Story

West Side Story!!  Go see it!!!  This Friday and Saturday at 7:30! Sunday at 2 pm.   You WILL regret not going!!  The talent at that school on the part of students and teachers is amazing!!  I am lucky enough to be able to "borrow" this photo from my friend Marci Baker, whose daughter Lauren is in the production!!  My girls are coming home to see this and we are all so excited!!

"Could it be? Yes it could.

Something's coming, something good,

If I can wait!

Something's coming, I don't know what it is,

But it is

Gonna be great!"

~ Stephen Sondheim, Something's Coming from West Side Story

Cat for sale....

I have a situation that is driving me out of my mind.  We have 3 cats.  First there was Poochie, who reigns king of the house...and works hard to make sure no one doubts his power.  Then there is Lady and Lassie who we adopted about 2 1/2 years ago.  This is Lady and she and Poochie have never, ever gotten along.  He likes to find her and intimidate her a few times a day, there are cat fights from time to time.  For awhile, Lady lived in my room.  I had a litter box in there for her...but apparently Poochie came in and started using it, and perhaps he even cornered her in there....and then I realized that she was using under my bed as a litter box....that is when she and I parted ways and I kicked her out of my room.  She then went to Alex's room....and started pooping in his room.  The kids found away of sequestering her litter box so that Poochie wouldn't find it...and all was well for awhile.  But Alex is not the best at taking care of that litter box...and it wasway too close to his sleeping area...so i finally took matters into my own hands and moved the litter box...trying to keep it somewhat hidden.  All my pains were for naught, though, as Poochie found that litter box.

Recently, in spite of the danger that lurks downstairs, Lady has been spending most of her time downstairs, she has little safe places that she goes to try to keep from being attacked.  At first we realized that she was pooping behind the tv set.  We made that inaccessible.  Then I realized that she had been using the fireplace to do her business.  I cleaned that all up and made that inaccessible.  Today I smell cat pee in the family room, thought I am darned if I can pinpoint the spot...and she pooped in the hall way.

That is it.  I am done.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I feel bad for her...but I just can't have her peeing and pooping all over the house at will.   Poochie obviously causes her a great deal of stress, and he will continue to....she sheds more than all the other cats, which I am sure is out of pure stress.  I am out of options and very frustrated at the whole situation.  Of course the kids all stand up for her and want no harm to come to her...but I just don't know what to do with her anymore.  I will entertain any suggestions...because right now, I am fresh out.

"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, that if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god.  Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are the gods."

~ Christopher Hitchens

The Admiral Players

So excited for the girls to come home this weekend for the occasion of the AHS spring musical which is West Side Story.  Alyssa enjoyed her years as part of the Admiral Players and is so excited to see the show and support her friends.  I miss Alyssa having this wonderful opportunity in her life.

Once again I give thanks for what really amounts to a Peforming Arts Department at Arlington.  There is a wealth of opportunities in the arts at this school and it is a virtual gold mine at ouf fingertips.  I know that after my children are out of school, I will still attend some of the concerts and shows there.  When you can't get to NYC to enjoy the arts, just come to Arlington.  The effect that education in the arts has on children, can not even be measured.  The kids involved in these programs, are some of the best.  So proud to be a part of all the wondeful programs in the arts that this school has to offer.  If you are free this weekend you should see if there are any tickets left and check it out!!

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time."

~ Thomas Merton

Inspiration for today

Tonight I am tired and looking for inspiration....for the blog, for my energy level, for tomorrow....  So I chose a photo of some beautiful sunflowers that I planted and grew.  Gardening always, always amazes me....at how some tiny little seed...nurtured and watered in the right conditions will, given time, grow into something beautiful. That is my inspiration for today.....that growth is always possible...in myself, in others, in situations. I need to nurture it and let it grow and bloom....when the time is right.  That little seed laid under the soil certainly doesn't seem like much...but oh the possibilities that lie inside it.  The possibilities...

"I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see"

~ Douglas Pagels

Spring!!

I think Spring may actually arrive this year!! I could smell it! I could feel it!  I had the windows open wide to let the fresh air in....and then I spotted these very welcome colors in my yard.

                      "She turned to the sunlight

                           And shook her yellow head,

                       And whispered to her neighbor:

                           "Winter is dead."

                                  ~A.A. Milne

Friends

" You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.  You have to go to them sometimes."

~A.A. Milne

"If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking, they can make you laugh."

~ P.C. Cast

Reach out

"Funny thing how when you reach out, people tend to reach right back.  Best, then, to make sure your hand is open and not fisted."

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Rise to it

Tonight I felt like something uplifting (haha get it?) before I am done with the day...

" Your life is an occasion.  Rise to it."

~Suzanne Weyn

Our sweet girl

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."

~ Josh Billings

My baby girl

My first born, My dear little baby girl.  I remember sitting and holding her and just looking at her...trying to memorize her sweet little face and every little stretch and grimace she made.  The years passed, one after another and as I look at her today, I realize she's all grown up....as grown up as any of us get to be.  She is getting ready to graduate from college and move forward to the next chapter of her life.  Where did the time go.  All those moments...her nursery school boyfriend, her first day in kindergarten, memories of family vacations, good friends, middle school, dance classes and marching band competitions....have all become a blur...and now I look at her, and I struggle to remember all those moments that I tried so hard to burn into my memories.

There is a part of me that would give almost anything to hold that sweet little girl again, hold onto her sweetness and innocence and not let her out in this big scary world.  But that is not how it is supposed to be. It is time her to fly and experience life and make her own decisions....and know that when she stumbles, that when she needs a shoulder, that when she needs advice...home will always be here.  I will always be here...ready for whatever she brings with her.

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

~Walt Disney Company

Remembering...

"A good snapshot keeps a moment from runing away."

~Eudora Welty