Today I am thankful for the spirit of acceptance......recognizing that there are people very different from ourselves, recognizing that we often don't understand each other. recognizing that we all have a different history, we come from a different perspective.....and respecting people for who they are and loving them as fellow human beings......even though we may not love them and choose them as personal friends.
Many of you who follow me on facebook, experience with me some of the frustrations of raising a son. I have raised two daughters...but this son of mine, this teenage boy...well he just confounds me. I don't get where he is coming from. The things he says, the things he does, his logic...the whole experience is just like dealing with an alien life form.
There are times when Alex is extremely difficult to deal with...and I find myself truly feeling Bill Cosby's words, "I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!" I am often wondering to myself if we are both going to come out of this alive. But, when all is said and done, and when he finally goes to sleep...on the rare occasion that his old mother doesn't pass out before he does....I look at that almost-man looking angelic face and I know, deep down.....deep, deep,deep,deep,deep down.....he has a good heart, he is a good person, and even though the every day seems futile sometimes...I know all is not lost.
Alex is not your typical sports kid. He is more of a computer, fix it, build-it, video game, music, drama club kind of a guy. He had a little trouble at first in middle school....a horrible place and time....to find his people. He did it though, found his people, found his niche....and it certainly wasn't with the sports kids from the bus...but they had history together, and I think for the most part they have all come to accept each other and respect each other for their differences.....most days.
This year, Alex met a kid in lunch...who he shares so much in common with...and he has really loved getting to know this kid and exchanging info on all the stuff they are both interested in. I've heard quite a bit about this kid, as well as some of the kids in their little group that I often hear about.
Many Fridays, Alex and I go visit my mom, where he takes piano lessons while I run around and do things that she is not able to do anymore, and then we go and visit my aunt...who is also alone...and we go visit with her. I certainly could do this little errand by myself. There is no need for me to drag Alex along...with the exception of the piano lessons, which he is often not prepared for anyway. But I think it is important for Alex to realize the importance of family and being there for family in whatever way we can...even if it is just visiting for awhile. It is a little bit of a car ride and I find it to be a nice time to connect...to sit and chat...instead of him running to a computer and me being annoyed that he isn't helping more. This past Friday, in just such a car ride, he was once again talking about this new kid and some cool new video information. Then he changed gears for a moment. He said that he and this new kid are a lot alike in a lot of ways, they share a lot of interests in common. But in one way, they are very different. He began to talk about a different boy that he has known forever...who he has gone through grade school, scouts, the bus with...this boy is a little different, and to be honest, Alex gets annoyed by him...but I know by the stories he has told through the years...that Alex always has stood up for this boy when he was being bothered on the bus, and this boy seems to have respected Alex...because he will listen to Alex when no one else is getting through. Alex was telling me how his new friend can't stand this boy that he's known forever, he has no tolerance for him....just hates him. That is where the difference lies. Because although Alex finds this boy to be annoying, he tries in his own Alex way, to show him the right way to act...but accepts him for who he is....and just can't bring himself to hate him or be mean to him....and in fact defends him.
And it's at moments like this....that I know all is not lost...inside this alien life form, beats a caring human heart. It's at moments like this I feel like I must be doing something right.
There are people out there who are so different that we just can't understand who they are and where they come from. We just simply don't understand their being.. We can find no common ground. That's ok. We don't have to hold hands and go through life side by side....that probably wouldn't end well. But what we do have to do is accept who they are and love them as the fellow human they are. They have as much a right to be here as you and I. Accept. Respect. Allow them to be who they are.....with love.
"The moment that judgement stops through acceptance of what it is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace."
~ Eckhart Tolle
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