Christmas

“It comes every year and will go on forever. And along with Christmas belong the keepsakes and the customs. Those humble, everyday things a mother clings to, and ponders, like Mary in the secret spaces of her heart.” 

~ Marjorie Holmes

Believe

“At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.” 

~ Chris Van Allsburg

Christmas past

As much as I love my 15 year old....there is a part of me that misses this 10 year old little guy!!

“When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.” 

~ Bob Hope

Christmas....

“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” 

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Enjoying the lights

We finally got to see the ERDAJT holiday light display.....just a beautiful sight to behold.

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ” 

~ Norman Vincent Peale

Sibling love

The only thing that seems to have changed over time, is Alex's reaction to love from his sisters. I pray that as time marches forward he will realize the gift that it is.   I am so thankful that these three love each other...most days.

"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."

 ~Erma Bombeck

12 -13 -14 -15!

It seems like just yesterday I was holding my baby boy in my arms.  It seems like just yesterday, he was new and we were the only ones awake in the wee hours of the morning and my sleep deprived mind was wandering all sorts of places while I tried to get him back to sleep and I somehow realized that in the year 2014, Alex's birthdate would be 12-13-14...and he would be 15!!  And today was it!!

15! It hardly seems possible.  I have often said that Alex has been my most challenging child to raise.  Every child has it's challenges, but I got through the raising of the girls, pretty much unscathed.  They are girls, I was a girl...I get where they are coming from, the things that they like, what makes them tick.  But this boy that I was given....was just absolutely alien to me...his whole way of looking at life, his activity level, his way of thinking...the attitudes and choices that he made...all of it has been absolutely foreign to me.

Alex hasn't been what some would call the typical "boy"...not a big sports fan, he loved technology and sci-fi/fantasy at an early age.  He loved to build things and if I had a penny for every lego piece I have stepped on in his life, I would be a rich woman, indeed.

He's been high-strung, yet funny and perceptive with an amazing vocabulary...yet doing well in school has rarely been the priority.  He has given me more than a few anxious moments...

But at 15, I see signs of maturity....of responsibility.  I see him taking things seriously, I listen to the things he is interested in, his plans for the future, the issues that concern him.  I watch him interacting with others.  He is a little socially awkward, but what kid isn't these days....he's smart, perceptive, intuitive, witty...and he is still a monster in the morning, and he still procrastinates and he still has attitudes at precisely the wrong moment...but he's getting there.  Little by little I see him trying things and stepping outside of his comfort level and growing....and there it is......a light at the end of the tunnel.

And as that light grows brighter, so will the reality that he will be growing up and moving on with his own life...my baby.  So for now, I'll enjoy him being 15 and being too funny for his own good, and computer crazed.  I'll enjoy the activities he becomes involved with, and the people that are part of his life....and I'll enjoy all the amazing things about him....and continue to help him work on those rough edges...and I'll love him so much....and I'll be amazingly proud...although there will be days I will have to remind myself of these feelings.  But I won't wish it away....because all too soon....he'll be all grown up.

“Growing up is hard, love. Otherwise everyone would do it.” 

~ Kim Harrison

tomorrow

This little guy turns 15 tomorrow!! Don't know where the time has gone...and he's given me a few gray hairs....but I wouldn't trade him!!

"Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new."

~ Sammy Hagar

Joy

We enjoyed Alex's first high school concert....and one of  the bands played "In the Bleak Midwinter", my very favorite!!  As you can see, Alex is so thrilled that I decided I needed a photo to document the event.  I am so proud of my kids who continue to be proud of each other and support each other and bring joy to each other....most of the time.

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.” 

~ Mark Twain

In front of the tree...

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. 

~Larry Wilde

Dear Daddy

It's hard to believe that it's been 4 years since you left us.  It seems hard to believe that you aren't part of our life anymore.  I guess that's because you are such an integral person to who I am, to who we all are...in so many ways, that you truly are and always will be a part of me.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of something you said or did, or tell a story about you, or see a Stewarts shop, or hear a song, or see your face in your sister, or see so much of you in my son....and think of you.  Every time I enter a theatre, you are with me in spirit.  And because you are always present with me...it doesn't really seem like you are gone.

On this day, I always think of those last days...of watching you go.  I think of the guilt I still feel that you weren't able to have your dearest wish...to remain at home. I think of the pain of seeing you suffer, of the funny stories...because in our family...no matter what the occasion.....there always seems to be a touch of humor...and you did not disappoint, even at the end.  I think of the tender, almost sacred moments, when we sat with you and bid you farewell.

I think kids tend to take their parents for granted as we age.  You've always been there, we've gotten through the good times and bad times....and we move on, anxious to start our own lives in our own way.  We never stop to think of the things you sacrificed for us...of the happinesses and sadnesses in your life, of the struggles and successes.  Parents just are there...and we never question all that other stuff...because parents are a different entity than all the other people in our life...almost superhuman in some ways.  At least, I didn't question....It wasn't until I needed to start taking care of you that I gave much thought to some of the things that shaped who you were.  It wasn't until I listened to some of your disoriented ramblings that I came to know what was important to you.  I think I said at your funeral that "to know you was not to know you".  You were very complex with so many different parts of you...one never knew what you were thinking or why you were the way you were...and yet, sometimes you were so very predictable.

I don't know if you ever wondered why you were here. I don't know if you ever wondered if you would be remembered.  But you will be remembered...not because of some great and noble deed, but because you lived your life as best you could, imperfectly...as we all do.  And because you breathed pieces of yourself  into all of us...which we continue to breathe into our world.

So you will live forever in those pieces of yourself that we all continue to spread into the world.  And you live forever in those of us who loved you and carry your memory and your very presence and spirit with us throughout all our days.  Thank you for all you gave, for all those times you were there.  I miss you...but you aren't truly gone....I carry you with me each day in a million ways.

"If I loved you,

Time and again I would try to say

All I'd want you to know.

If I loved you,

Words wouldn't come in an easy way

Round in circles I'd go!

Longin' to tell you,

But afraid and shy,

I'd let my golden chances pass me by!

Soon you'd leave me,

Off you would go in the mist of day,

Never, never to know how I loved you

If I loved you"

~ Oscar Hammerstein II

Home

She's exhausted! But she made it here before the bad weather and we are all happy to have her home!

“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.” 

~ Edith Sitwell

and the forecast is...

for more winter weather.  I am already sick of winter and it has barely started.

“December's wintery breath is already clouding the pond, frosting the pane, obscuring summer's memory...” 

~ John Geddes

Today

I am calling it a day....and what a day it's been.  Anything that could go wrong today....did go wrong.  I am feeling exhausted and beat up.  So I will lay my head down, regain my strength and resolve and I will try again tomorrow.

“Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you.” 

~ Chuck Palahniuk

Peaceful

It has taken me longer to get the tree decorated this year.  There always seem to be so many other tasks to be accomplished and only a limited amount of time and energy.  But tonight, I found some time to attend to one of my favorite parts....the tree.  It's done for tonight...but not totally done yet.  Still, there is not much I enjoy in life more than sitting in front of the Christmas tree feeling peaceful and blessed.

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ” 

~ Norman Vincent Peale

Family

Some of the very dearest people to me are in this photo.  I look at them and I see all that is beautiful in the world shining out of them and I think of the times we have spent together and I realize how truly blessed I am.

"And thank you for a house full of people I love. Amen. "

~Terri Guillemets

Adventure

There aren't many events in our life that don't end up becoming some kind of crazy adventure.  I am so thankful that I have had such great adventures with these three.

“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing.” 

` Herman Melville

Thankful

It has been my custom to post something I am thankful for each day in November.  Unfortunately, my gratitude posts were cut short this year, due to a nor'easter and some heavy wet snow coming to town and  taking with it my power, heat, phone, internet and sense of humor.  We survived the ordeal, and are happy to have all those things that had been lost restored.  I remain thankful...perhaps even more so, as I realize how difficult life is without many of the comforts that technology has added to my life, which I just take for granted.

In spite of the snow, which I never look forward to....never welcome....we were able to enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving with my precious family....it is one that may go down in the history books for various reasons...but I feel like just about all of our celebrations are memorable for one crazy reason or another.

I spent a wonderful afternoon and evening with family and yet...I was constantly consulting the Central Hudson website.  Should I have been more present....less anxious? Certainly the amount of times I checked the website had no bearing on how soon my power was restored?  Should I have trusted that all would be ok?  These are things I will ponder to prepare myself for the next crisis I am faced with.

But of one thing I am sure...that I am blessed....with amazing family with crazy senses of humor that make any situation so much fun;  that I am blessed by 3 wonderful children who are there with me through whatever it is we need to get through;  that I am blessed by friends such as one who invited me to her house to use her ipad to try and get some Christmas shopping done;  that  I am blessed by friends and co workers who make life a smile and that I am blessed by an imperfect life which is often a struggle, which is often confusing and exhausting...but that most days, I wouldn't trade.

“Be thankful for your allotment in an imperfect world.  Though better circumstances can be imagined, far worse are nearer misses than you probably care to realize.” 

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

My children

I am thankful that I have all my children here to help me endure this terrible storm and power outage. They are the light in my life. So blessed!! 

Give the children love, more love and still more love – and the common sense will come by itself. 

- Astrid Lindgren

Forgiveness

“True forgiveness is when you can say, "Thank you for that experience.” 

~ Oprah Winfrey

Health

“Eat healthily, sleep well, breathe deeply, move harmoniously.” 

~ Jean-Pierre Barral

Blessings

A full and busy weekend surrounded by all three of my kids as we supported Alyssa, by traveling to Oswego to see her perform a dance she choreographed.  It was full of some beautiful moments...and some that were less than stellar.  I was feeling quite under the weather, we had some car concerns as we traveled part way home, out of Oswego last night...in rain, and Cara, who is trying to pick a health plan is very stressed about how much she needs to pay out of pocket....money that she does not have in her pocket, and I learned some disturbing news from 'home'.

But we made the most of it, enjoyed Alyssa's beautiful dance and dancing, spent some happy time together and began to anticipate the holidays.  We made it home, thankfully, and the car is still running, though a trip to my mechanic is in order sooner than later.  By grace, we were brought home safely.  Because I was not feeling better, I spent hours waiting to be seen at an urgent care facility, and while waiting, noticed a poster discussing help with health care costs....a glimmer of hope for Cara.....maybe. I now know that the little cold I thought I had....might be a little something more...but now, with the correct medication, will soon be on the mend.  The disturbing news, I have decided, is a way for me to reach out to someone.

And so...even though there were circumstances that I may have considered to be curses...perhaps they were blessings in disguise....and the best blessing of all....as always.... is these three...whom I love with every fiber of my being and whom I am proud of individually...but also as a family who continue to make being there for one another a priority.

“When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.” 

~ C.S. Lewis

Journey

   “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters in the end.” 

               ~  Ernest Hemingway

Warmth

“It is very important that we have the capacity to love many different things or people at the same time. Our love should radiate like the sun, warming everything it touches.” 

~  Peggy Toney Horton

Being exactly who I am

Every once in awhile amidst all the self doubts, you are given a gift.....a kind word, a helping hand....something that lifts you up and lets you know that as imperfect as you are...you are on the right track.  Today was such a day for me.

I, like many of you, tend to beat myself up about the things that are not perfect about myself and my life.  Yet I tell myself, I am living life the best way I know how....what am I doing wrong, then?  Why do I often struggle financially? Why do I often doubt what I am doing and how I am doing it? What defines me?  What does success look like for me? The list goes on and on and on....

Yet today, I feel like I've been given some kind of message, another hand on my own telling me that I am on the right track.  Affirming that right now I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. So for today, I will cast aside the questions and doubts and I will trust and follow my heart and enjoy being exactly who I am.  I will be thankful for this life...for all the people that surround me.  I will be thankful for all the blessings I've been given.

Tomorrow, I am sure those doubts will creep back in.  Tomorrow I will go about the business of life and continue my evolution...but for today I will cast them aside and just be thankful for today.

“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” 

~ Masaru Emoto

Life's small celebrations

Tonight we attended the Arlington Marching Band Awards night.  Alex is no longer a rookie!  I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished.  Celebrations such as these are sometimes lost on Alex....he's a guy and sometimes the moments that I deem to be truly important pass him by unnoticed.  Or maybe because I'm his Mom and I remember all we have gone through to get to this point.  It is a celebration.  He took on a task and he worked hard.  He was committed to it, took ownership of it, developed a responsibility for it.  I celebrate a wonderful season and all of the growth I have seen develop in Alex.

“there is nothing more beautiful in life 

than celebrating the talents, dreams, 

joys, and accomplishments of another being 

to see - and call attention to - the best in someone else...” 

~ Kate Mullane Robertson

Acceptance and Tolerance

“If I do not believe as you believe, it proves that you do not believe as I believe, and that is all that it proves.” 

~  Thomas Paine

People who have blessed my days

Catskill, New York circa 1975?  These were my first real friends...the first people who loved me and laughed with me and believed in me.  Though I don't see some of them very often...I can not imagine who I would be without them in my life.

"If you let people into your life a little bit, they can be pretty damn amazing. "

~ Sherman Alexie

Heroes

And here are two of my heroes...who very often save the day and help keep me putting one step in front of the other....

“Anyway, if you need your heroes to be perfect, you won't have very many. Even Superman had his Kryptonite. I'd rather have my heroes be more like me: trying to do the right thing, sometimes messing up. Making mistakes. Saying you're sorry. And forgiving other people when they mess up, too.” 

~ Madeleine George

Giving

“But I give best when I give from that deeper place; when I give simply, freely and generously, and sometimes for no particular reason. I give best when I give from my heart.” 

~ Steve Goodier

Kind

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” 

~ Desmond Tutu

Music

Whether you are listening to music or making music...solo or with others...music has a magic to take you somewhere else...to another time, another place, another dimension...maybe just for a second....to make you feel something that you didn't know was possible...to remind yourself that your heart still beats...and there is still a reason for living.

“Music can change the world because it can change people.” 

~  Bono

Belief

Perhaps it will be my downfall......but so be it.  I believe in the good in life...in people.... and always, always the power of love.

“Some things have to be believed to be seen.” 

~ Madeleine L'Engle

Sacrifice

Today I lift up these men whom I loved, who have spent time serving their country.  I think of so many others who have sacrificed to protect this country and our freedoms....not just those in the military...but everyday people engaging in many different heroic acts....sacrificing themselves for others without a thought.

But, today is Veteran's Day and so I especially think of these men in my life and all the members of the military who have served, or are serving  and sacrificing so very much so that we can go about our every day life without a second thought as to the freedoms we enjoy in this country.  I can't imagine the conditions that they must endure, the life that they must sometimes live, the loved ones they must often leave behind.  Thank you just doesn't seem to be enough to thank all of these people who have sacrificed so much.....for our country, for me.  We owe the life that we live today to these brave individuals.  Though it doesn't seem enough for such a gift......Thank you!  You have not sacrificed in vain.

“Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else.” 

~ Mitch Albom

Obstacles

“The best way to treat obstacles is to use them as stepping-stones. Laugh at them, tread on them, and let them lead you to something better.” 

~ Enid Blyton

Going out of your way for others

I have been trying to keep my photo/blog in sync with my statuses this month.  But what picture could I possibly post that would portray people going out of their way for others?  There are certainly many people who have gone out of their way for me. I briefly considered making some sort of collage...but knew I would leave someone out...or didn't necessarily possess a picture of each one.....and there have been so many...too many to count!!  I am blessed!!

I like to give to people....I find it to be essential and of the highest value.  Accepting the help someone gives me when they go out of their way for me....is not always so easy.  But, there are times when, given my situation, I am forced to ask for and accept help.  I am so thankful for the angels that always say yes.....that always make a way to be there...to go out of their way to help me.  Their help and their love is a true blessing!!  We often get so busy with our own lives that we don't take the time for others...we get locked into our schedule and list of to-do's and don't go out of our way to be there for people.  I know it is something that I try to make a priority.

I finally decided on this picture.  It is my brother Doug.....being himself...... with Alyssa after he had traveled from the Schenectady area, picking up my mom on the way,  to see Alyssa in one of her high school productions.  It makes for a long day...but his support has always meant the world to her.  Of course we would understand if he couldn't make it....but he does....he goes out of his way....and it means everything!

“You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” 

~ Khalil Gibran

Joy

“Laughter is wine for the soul - laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness - the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.” 

~ Seán O'Casey

Courage

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.” 

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

The outstretched hand...

Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey.

At other times, it is allowing another to take yours.” 

~ Vera Nazarian

Listening

It is a rare gift.  We all possess the ability...but we need to realize how important it is....and take the time to simply listen!

“This is the problem with dealing with someone who is actually a good listener. They don’t jump in on your sentences, saving you from actually finishing them, or talk over you, allowing what you do manage to get out to be lost or altered in transit. Instead, they wait, so you have to keep going.” 

~ Sarah Dessen

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” 

~ Stephen R. Covey

Sleep

For a variety of reasons.....there is no more left of me tonight.  So I will  get to bed early, rest and recharge.....and still curse the alarm clock in the morning.

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” 

~ Mindy Kaling

A helping hand

As you may know the taskof leaf removable is very stressful to me.  I just don't possess the talent or tools to take care of the vast population of leaves that jump to their death in my yard.  We were fortunate enough to borrow some leaf blowers and Alex and I spent a good deal of time outside on Friday trying to gently coax the leaves to the wooded areas that border our yard.  We went inside weary, but feeling like we had made a dent.  Enter the Nor'easter of this past weekend.  I looked outside on Sunday to see that it almost didn't look as if we had done anything.  It was very disheartening to me.

I arrived home from work today to find that Alex had been outside almost since he had arrived home trying to put those darn leaves back in their place,  That little bit of help from him made all the difference in how I was feeling about the task of removing the leaves.  I joined in and by the time we went inside, we both felt like we had really accomplished something and the rest of the task is able to be done.  

Sometimes, all you need is someone to give you a little help....to be in it with you....and the workload suddenly seems lighter.....and for that help to come unexpected from a teenager who usually needs to be begged and cajoled....well let's just say that doubled the blessing!!

“I wished for someone to hold me up. Suddenly someone was there.” 

~ Christie Watson

Light

This has been a quiet and restful weekend....which I welcomed after the crazy amount of activity of the last month.  Yet, this weekend is always my most dreaded each year.  This is the weekend that I officially bid a fond farewell to the light.  I know the days have been getting shorter and the darkness sneaks up on me a little earlier....but on the night that we turn the clocks back....it's official....winter is just about here.

It didn't help that this particular weekend, as if to emphasize the point, a nor'easter came to visit....and as it left, it took my power with it.  I got to thinking about that sequence of events.  That is exactly what the light does for me...it gives me power, hope, the will to get through today and tomorrow, no matter what they have in store.  But when the darkness encroaches....with my light, goes my power.... the darkness makes me tired and weak and robs me of my will to some degree.

I am sure no one reaches my age, but they haven't had to deal with some measure of darkness in their life.  It's painful to remember those dark hours...when not a glimmer of light could be seen....when you just didn't know how you would make it through that tunnel...tired and scared and weak.  And yet....I somehow had soaked up enough light to see my way through that darkness...the light came from somewhere deep within...and I emerged on the other side with my light not diminished...but more brilliant from the experience.
So I bid the light a fond farewell and I will be joyfully waiting it's return....but in the meantime...I will try to shine as brightly as I know how... to light the path of those who are stumbling in those dark places.

“It's not what you have on the outside that glitters in light, it's what you have on the inside that shines in the dark.” 

~ Anthony Liccione

My saints

Today, November 1st, is All Saints Day.  I did a little research and found information about who celebrates it and how it is celebrated. It is a day to remember the saints....those known and unknown...and those who have passed on.

I like the fact that there is a day to remember some of the people who have left my life.....this life.  It's necessary to me to have a day ....that I can circle on the calendar and pause in the busyness of life to intentionally remember the lives of those who I loved...who I continue to love.

I look at their faces and I think of who they were, of how they lived their lives...of their personalities, their stories....their struggles and successes.  It's important to me that there be a day to remind me to spend a moment giving thanks for their lives.  But the truth is....they are never truly gone from me for long.  I pause, maybe only momentarily to remember them in a thousand things...in a song or a story or a joke.  I often think of them at a specific time of year or when I come across a tangible reminder that I have saved.  Sometimes I remember them as I look at a family member who brings them to mind.  I think of them when a look, a smile, a laugh, or gesture brings them to mind.  Or perhaps...it is when I am alone that the thought of them just floods over me.....unbeckoned....and I feel an overwhelming sense of their presence......and I wonder....

I often question if, during the course of their lives, they ever wondered if they would be remembered.  I believe that if you love and share that love....you will always be remembered and always live in the hearts of those who hold you dear.  And so today....I remember the saints in my life.  I give thanks for them and all the days we had together, all the meals and laughs shared....and I give thanks that I was fortunate enough to be chosen to share some of their very precious time on earth. So on this day.......and so many others, I give thanks for my saints.

“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” 

~ Thomas Campbell

Quiet

This Halloween is quiet.  Alex is at the age where he really doesn't have an interest in trick-or-treating.  But in years past...Halloween was a crazy night.  It consisted of getting home and eating and getting homework done and the whole ordeal of dressing up, taking photos to document it all and then bundling up and trudging up and down the street begging for candy.  The part that was always the most fun, was once we got home and relaxed and started handing out our own candy.  Oh and the candy....and the resulting bursts of sugar powered energy and the inevitable meltdown's that came with the crash.  Fun times....  But as I sit here quietly this year...part of me misses it.  I don't get any trick-or-treaters where I live now, so the night has become uneventful.

This year I an hunkered down after weeks of being (what seemed like) constantly in motion.   Had I not dealt with the costume and candy craziness at work, I might not even realize it was Halloween. It seems like just another night.   Tonight I am feeling a little like this tired little bunny....my first baby on her first Halloween.

Somewhere there are little Elsa's and superheroes trudging about bundled up with their plastic jackolanterns filled to the brim with goodies.  There are moms and dads proudly, yet tiredly, walking them to each door making sure they don't trip on part of their costume, urging them to say "trick-or-treat" and "thank you".  Somewhere doorbells are ringing just as soon as you sit back down, but tonight for us, all is quiet.  And though part of me misses all that, there is another part that welcomes the peace.

The world is quiet here.” 

~ Lemony Snicket

Halloweens Past

They are all grown up now....but we sure did have some fun on Halloweens past.

"There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch."

~ Robert Brault

Here's to Persevering

I have long believed, that the reason children have parents is because they are not able to raise themselves. There have been times when I did what I thought was right and had to stand my ground despite the opinion of my children...and sometimes well meaning on-lookers.  I haven't given my kids carte-blanche.  I haven't bent to all their whims.

Perhaps another mom, would not have been so insistent at her child giving marching band a try....full well knowing that the child would much prefer to sit home in front of the computer.  Maybe another mom would have folded under the constant litany of  "1000 reasons why I hate Marching Band".  But I know my kid.  I have known him since he was an infant and before.  I have seen the things that excite him and the things that he can not bear.  I know the lessons he needs to learn to be a happy and successful human being.  In my  heart, I knew....I absolutely knew that if he gave it a chance....a real chance....he would love it.

So on that September night as we were driving home from one of his first competitions.....when he told me he had decided to stick with marching band throughout his high school career.....I felt somehow vindicated.  I was glad that I had trusted my instincts and put up with some of the unpleasant consequences....to get to that moment in time.  I wasn't sure any moment would feel sweeter to me than that one.  But I was wrong.  Every time I have seen him on the field, every time he comes home and talks my ear off about the drill....or walks around the house singing his trombone part is a source of joy.  I have seen him feeling discouraged, and getting up and going to the next practice and trying even harder.  It's thrilling to me to see that he's not just going through the motions.....but that he is invested...that he is trying to do his best.  It's thrilling to me to have conversations with him about the lessons that the Marching Band experience has taught him.  But the sweetest moment yet...was to see him performing on the field at the Carrier Dome.....giving it his all and being proud of what he had accomplished this season.

I'm proud that I stuck to my guns......that I did not give up on what I knew......but persevered.  I'm proud that Alex did not resist and gave himself fully to the activity...and persevered.  The young man that continues to procrastinate doing his homework in the next room is a different person in many ways than that kid I dropped off at the first marching band practice back in June.  I look forward to seeing him grow and keep on going through whatever comes his way....to become the amazing person that I have always known he can be.

“Even in the mud and scum of things, something always, always sings.” 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being There.....

It hasn't always been easy for Alex to be a member of our extended family.  He came a few years after the fact.....and after the novelty of the new little cute guy in town wore off....he was sometimes just this annoying little kid.  He often wore that title well.  

I was thrilled that besides having our family at Dome to support him.....he also had his cousin.  We were thrilled to spend some time in her beautiful company and though he's a little too awkward to say it, Alex was thankful that she took the time to be there for him.

Everyone arrives at their own truth in life.  One of mine.....one of the things that I am sure of.... is the importance of being there for the people who are part of you.  Time spent supporting your family and friends is never, ever wasted.

“The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn’t the family. If you don’t have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don’t have much at all. Love is so supremely important. As our great poet Auden said, ‘Love each other or perish’.” 

― Mitch Albom

Celebratory Barqs!

It started after day 1 of Marching Band practice.  Alex wasn't so sure he was going to like Marching Band, but he had said he would try it and I held him to it.  I believed it would be a great experience for him.  So he reluctantly agreed to give it a try.  The first practice was a full day practice.   In addition to his water jug for practice, I packed him a good lunch as well as a gatorade and 2 cans of Barqs root beer.  I figured I needed to throw as many good things into the experience in the hopes that he might actually grow to like it.....and Alex, like his sister Cara, loves Root beer.  They are somewhat snobbish about their root beer, with Barqs being the favorite.

When I went to pick him up that first day, I am pretty sure he began telling me about all the reasons he hated marching band in the car ride home.  He reached for his lunch bag and took out the last can of root beer which he had saved as celebration of the fact that he had actually made it through the practice and continued to be alive.  Eventually, he began waiting until he arrived home, but he would always take the can of root beer out and exclaim with great ceremony: "Celebratory Barqs!"

Luckily......thankfully, Alex grew to appreciate Marching Band and take ownership of it.  I continued to send 2 cans of root beer to each practice so that he could continue his ritual of celebrating the small successes.

This weekend has been a long and exhausting weekend, as we traveled to Syracuse for the Marching Band Championships.  I know Alex has been getting tired.  This activity includes a grueling schedule with week day practices and weekend practices and competitions.  I think you can only keep up that pace for so long....  We arrived home late this afternoon, and after doing a few errands, I set about the task of putting away Marching Band until next year....lunch bags we have used on competition trips, water jug, luggage from the weekend, Marching Band Backpack....it is all put away.  We have loved it.  We are sad to see it go....we will miss it.....and yet.....we look forward to reclaiming our old routine again.

There was just one thing left to tie up all the loose ends and commemorate this momentous occasion....  Alex started out hating marching band and has now admitted that he likes it and is proud of his successes.  I have loved watching his work ethic and responsibility grow.  He has made it through his first band camp, grueling rehearsals, a couple of parades and now....his first trip to Dome.  This calls for celebration....in the way he has celebrated his growth each step of the way with a Celebratory Barqs!!

As for me....I am in need of a Celebratory nap!

“Celebrate the journey. It’s not all about the destination. Savor all of your successes, even the small ones.” 

~ Dawn Gluskin

Winners Everyone

Arlington Marching Band gave an amazing performance tonight. They came in 2nd place,scoring 96.10.

We are all beyond proud of their dedication, commitment and hard work.

" I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious”

~ Vince Lombardi