24 years ago

This was me 24 years ago today.  You may wonder, given the circumstances, why I would post this photo today.  I think I posted a similar photo last year when I was doing my 365 project.  The reasons are many...good memories, embracing the past, moving forward....  This was a truly happy day and there were many good times to follow....not to mention the gift of my 3 extraordinary children.  On this day something was begun, a committment was made, the future was alive with possibilities.  The story however, didn't end as planned.....as it sometimes doesn't. We gave it our all, to the best of our abilities...and it just wasn't enough.  But it happened....it was a happy day,  and good times came of it and good things came of it.  I will always have happy memories of this day, enjoy the photos of dear ones who are no longer with us, and be thankful for my blessings and mindful of the lessons I have learned along the way to where I am today.  I am grateful that today, 24 years later, we have arrived at a place where we can be supportive of each other and be there for our children.  I consider that to be our success...a happy ending.

I look at that girl in the picture....I try to remember her...she seems so long ago and far away.  I try to remember....her hopes and dreams, what was in her heart....  I look in the mirror and I can't find much resemblance to her anymore.  But I know that despite the way I have changed and evolved...and hopefully matured as I have aged...I know that we still believe in the same ideals....her and I.  If anything, life has taught me that my instincts and beliefs about life were right from way back then.  In some ways, we remain the same.....idealistic, too trusting, optimistic.  I think I have found a greater purpose in life than she had back then.  I think I have developed a confidence, courage, fortitude and faith,  that she did not possess.  I envy her innocence, her hope...  I know she imagined the story of her life somewhat differently   I stand here today knowing that life changes and so do we, and you have to be willing to accept those changes and move forward.  But I think that all the parts of her ...the things that truly made her who she was...are still present in me...and I hope I am able to hold onto her spirit as I continue to travel down the road of life.

" I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."

~ Douglas Adams