I have some friends that have been counting down the days til Christmas for awhile now. My daughters have been doing some serious anticipating . At work today we were discussing, gift exchange and Christmas traditions. I don't actually welcome all this talk of Christmas. It's not that I don't like Christmas....actually, Christmas is my favorite holiday. People always used to tell me that Christmas was my holiday...because it was all about giving...and I love to give. But times are tough for everyone right now...and Christmas requires money.....money that I, unfortunately, don't possess. So talk of Christmas just becomes stressful. I know I am not the only one. I know there are many out there like me that just aren't sure how they are going to keep up with the bills, let alone do Christmas.
Christmas is a lot of things....it's carolers and lights and trees. It is special food, for me that means baking like a crazed maniac. It is the time when it is ok to let people know how much they mean to you, without them looking at you funny. It is family. It is a celebration of faith....of love and joy, It is decorations and traditions that you only pull out of storage once a year. And the music....the music that you hear only for a few weeks of the year, but that touches you in a deep place. But it is also Santa Claus, and gifts under the tree...and shopping, shopping, shopping and wrapping....and the anticipation of what will be under the tree. And at least for me...the joy of giving to those I love...of seeing them receive something that delights them.
And so, with all this in mind, I have been doing some serious stressing lately...because how can we have Christmas...when there is no money? I have been brainstorming ways to make more money...absolutely ridiculous ways... And here's the thing that gets me upset: I think that what I do for a living is right up there as some of the most meaningful work one can do. I try to live a good and honest life. I keep plugging away...one step at a time...one struggle at a time....but it all comes to a head...when you look at your bank account....and just don't see how you are going to do Christmas. And I have been stressing and worrying and trying to problem solve....
And tonight Alyssa called me. We are always texting, but she doesn't always call, she had some life issues she wanted to talk over. There was something about hearing her voice, talking to her about life....that made me stop and realize that she and her sister and brother are the best gifts that I have ever been given....and they didn't come wrapped up under a tree. I realized that we are all gifts to each other...and that the true gifts at Christmas and all the rest of the year...are the people that celebrate it with you. I think of my incredible family, my coworkers...who are exceptional beyond words, my amazing students, friends and neighbors who are just remarkable and make my life rich beyond measure. These are the gifts of the season...the time spent with all the incredible people we are given.
And so, when the time is right, I am going to throw myself into the Christmas spirit. I am going to get the tree and put up the lights and do some baking and follow traditions. and I am hoping and praying I will find a way to put some gifts under that tree. But even if I don't, despite the failure and disappointment that I will feel, I will still know, and remind myself...that the true spirit of Christmas cannot be bought. The best gifts under the tree are the ones who pose for photos in front of it. The best gift you can give... is, always has been and always will be.... love.
"What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!"
~ Dr. Seuss
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