Never Grow Up

So hard to believe that my little girl will be graduating from college this weekend.  Does that mean she's all grown up?  She was always so sweet.....and calm, compared to her brother and sister...  It was hard admitting she was growing up throughout school...but she was always so mild mannered and sweet and really didn't give me the rebellion and trouble that I saw other kids dishing out.   So I fooled myself into thinking it wasn't really happening....she wasn't really growing up.  Even when we had to send her off to college...I told myself it was just another step in the process, she'll be back....and she was.  But what do I tell myself now? She has a bachelor's degree...is not planning on moving to temporary college housing, but her own place.  She'll be busy, working and going to grad school.

I am so incredibly proud of her...and yet part of me misses my sweet little girl.  Gone are the days of running down the hall with stolen canned goods, asking me "what pink mean, Mommy?", pretending to be the Mommy and wanting to drive to daycare.  Now it's conversations about grad schools and music, broadway shows and friends and jobs.

They say it's not good to dwell on the past....and I am really not, I look at her today and wish her more beauty than pain.  I wish that she is able to hold onto the sweetness that has always been a part of her in a cold-all-about-me world.  I will, as I always have, continue to be her biggest fan and help whenever I can, and remind her that she is not alone in this big world...but a part of something bigger....a loving family.  But a tiny part of me pauses, to glance over my shoulder at my precious little girl and wonder why she had to grow up so fast...and wish even more that I could go back in time and plead with her to never grow up.

                               http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1YGmOit8G0

                                                             "Never Grow Up"

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up