The struggle

It hit me today.  You know when all at once....the experiences and conversations of the past few days all converge upon you....and everything just seems to fit together and create a new understanding.

The other day at work, someone had read the quote of the day....and I wish I could remember what it was....but it had to do with happiness.  The discussion was..... you can't begin to think about happiness or what happiness is until you have your basic needs met.  And so many of us these days don't have our basic needs met.  We are worried about the security of having a home, a job that puts food on the table, and keeps us warm and safe.  Everyone seems to be struggling to make ends meet.  Everyone seems to be holding on...in survival mode.  It isn't until our basic needs are met, that we can begin to be happy.

Today I listened as friends shared concerns about finances.  I have been struggling for years now...never really knowing how those bills are going to get paid.  It hit me today....just how much of a crisis finances is for so many people.  I realized that I an not alone.....and somehow that was comforting, and somehow knowing that others struggle made me feel like a little less of a failure.  I choose not to think about a bunch of grown men rolling around on a football field and getting paid way too much to do it....and all of the people that are sitting crowded around TV sets, munching on chicken wings and chips and dip, making their outrageous salaries possible.

Tomorrow I will get up and do Monday....and in the back of my mind....as in every day....I will be trying to figure out how I can make more money, or change my finances so that every week, month, year isn't so much of a struggle.  Perhaps what I, as a person of faith, need to do...is just give that worry up.  Though it may not  make a lick of sense to some...maybe I just need to trust that God will take care of me.  That knowledge will free me up to be  present in each day, each moment and open myself to the possibilities in store for me.

So....to the best of my ability, I am going to try it.  I am going to try to have faith and believe that the best is yet to come for me and those that I love.  I am going to believe that the struggle will lessen and happiness will increase.

“Every single being has an amazing, unfathomable gift that only meeting life head on will reveal” 

~ Mark Nepo